@treydayway

Me trying to reach for my goals

You Might Also Like

@ArfMeasures

[Chasing a dog on my bike]

Me *breathlessly* how is he reaching the pedals?!

@LurkAtHomeMom

I feel bad for women who say finding true love is the best experience in life. They’ve obviously never found their bra size on clearance.

@sixfootcandy

Her: (emerges from the sea, beach waves glistening in the sunshine)
Me: (washes ashore topless looking like Sigmund the Sea Monster)

@DavidKlein5

Swim up bars combine my two favorite things. Drinking and peeing in hotel pools.

@PopSlapFunk

I don’t mean to brag about my patience, but I just waited 5 whole seconds before passing a student driver and flicking them off.

@JKickinit30

It’s amazing when you hug someone you haven’t seen in decades. It’s also embarrassing when it’s not the person you thought it was.

@Gupton68

Celine Dion: all by myself

CDC: good

CD: don’t wanna be, all by myself

CDC: sorry but them’s the rules