@iLikeCatShirts: Me [trying to sound intellectual]: okay, okay which came first turkey the bird or Turkey the *points at map*
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@imchriskelly: i want the first line of my obituary to be about how i once used an umbrella three different times before losing it
@jjax44: I start, but can rarely complete my paintings and sculptures, for I am a master of the partial arts.
@ScottFilmCritic: If you only see one raccoon getting a marriage proposal today, make it this one.
@GrantTanaka: me: [being beaten w/ nightstick] are u a virgo cop: GET ON THE GROUND me: that's such a virgo thing to say