Me: Two fingers here.
Son: OK.
M: One in the other hole.
S: Got it.
M: Relax your wrist.
M: Bowling. Chill.

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Captain: prepare for landing
Me: roger that
C: reverse thrusters
M: sretsurht lol
C: lol
*we smash full speed into the moon*


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History Channel, 2005: Here’s some things that could have happened

History Channel, 2015: Here’s some things that realistically never happen

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If you knock on the door to a bathroom stall and someone says “one second,” wait more than one second before entering.


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