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@AndrewsNotFunny: ME: we need to fight diabetes
INVENTOR OF THE PIÑATA: say no more
@JoeBerkowitz: Feel like Hollywood keeps churning out the same movie again and again.
@Dawn_M_: Just once I'd like the guy hired to kill me to complete the job and not fall in love with me.
@truegritrumble: BEEKEEPER: *opens up beehive and finds a peanut butter and jelly sandwich* If that's here...
KID: *opens up lunchbox in school cafeteria*
@kelkulus: Girls hate it when you give them Christmas presents with an implied expectation, like an iron, a food processor, or knee pads.
@TheDairylandDon: I have way less energy than your average haunted doll.