*Does one sit-up. Whispers to self.
“That’ll do pig. That’ll do.”
Me: You must train hard to beat Kylo Ren.
Rey: I already beat him once with literally no training.
Rey: Look. I still have two hands.
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I ducked into a crowd of guys bro hugging as they left the bar, they didn’t notice the stranger in their midst and I’m feeling so loved rn.
My favorite part of the bible is when god gives people free will and then kills everyone with a flood for not acting the way he wanted .
Let’s put the delete button next to the most important, most used button on this app, lol
~App developers probably
1yo: Jesus Jesus Jesus!
Me: OMG are you saying Jesus!?
Me:Oh my God….
Me: she’s…. a prophet!
Me: Show me! Where is Jesus!
Me: cheez-its??… cheez-its! You want cheez-its?
1yo: yes! Jesus.
*slides teller a note*
M: uh huh
T: *slides me a lollipop*
[Alien monster is levelling Toronto]
CANADAMAN: Excuse me, sir, SIR, could you stop please? SIR?
Be the first thought on her mind when she wakes up & the last before she sleeps… unless she’s plotting your murder… then don’t be that.