Where my American History knowledge comes from:
50% Forrest Gump
Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet.
4yo: I don’t have any other feet..
Me: Fair enough.
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Guy science: The proper amount of time for a pan to soak before cleaning it is until you need to use it again.
Asking a redhead if you can see her pumpkin patch will get you slapped…
It’s not important how I know that…
Never trust a vegetarian who eats animal crackers
A chameleon and a ninja walk into a bar.
Neither one can get the bartender’s attention.
Whoa. The house telephone thingy just rang. Couldn’t remember what to do so I stopped, dropped and rolled.
Maybe she was just being paranoid, but Wendy couldn’t help feeling that she was being monitored.
I put the tomatos and the ketchup right next to each other in my refrigerator just so all the food knows I have no mercy
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