@FeelingEuphoric

MECHANIC: listen, I’m not sure if I can fix this

FRED FLINTSTONE: *cradling his broken legs*

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@Bacon_Ball

You can tell a lot by the way a woman walks. Like if she walks away, she’s probably not into you.

@HavocMantis

Mermaid: a half-fish woman. They are all very pretty, even the ones that don’t conform to human standards of beauty. I love all of them.

Murmaid: a maid who does murder. Some are powerful warriors, and some are stealthy assassins. I love all of them.

@Shot_Of_Cabo

Traffic..

The thing that impedes you from traveling from the place you didn’t want to be to the place you don’t want to go.

@WheelTod

I’m the outdoorsy type. I hate being chained to a desk all day, but management say they have no choice until I stop biting my coworkers.

@smokedesign

Does Rapunzel use the shampoo “Head & Shoulders, knees & Toes.”

@TheHyyyype

dr frankenstein: it’s alive!

igor: great! what should we name him

dr frankenstein: uh we won’t

igor: idk might lead to some confusion

dr frankenstein: it will literally never come up

@vonTraphaus

We chose to adopt a highway.
[clutches my wife’s hand]
We couldn’t make a highway of our own, you see.