Who decided that we have to get stuff done every day?
MECHANIC: listen, I’m not sure if I can fix this
FRED FLINTSTONE: *cradling his broken legs*
You Might Also Like
You can tell a lot by the way a woman walks. Like if she walks away, she’s probably not into you.
Mermaid: a half-fish woman. They are all very pretty, even the ones that don’t conform to human standards of beauty. I love all of them.
Murmaid: a maid who does murder. Some are powerful warriors, and some are stealthy assassins. I love all of them.
The thing that impedes you from traveling from the place you didn’t want to be to the place you don’t want to go.
Oh you’re a yogi name one picnic basket you’ve stolen
I’m the outdoorsy type. I hate being chained to a desk all day, but management say they have no choice until I stop biting my coworkers.
Does Rapunzel use the shampoo “Head & Shoulders, knees & Toes.”
“I literally died.” – white girls in heaven.
dr frankenstein: it’s alive!
igor: great! what should we name him
dr frankenstein: uh we won’t
igor: idk might lead to some confusion
dr frankenstein: it will literally never come up
We chose to adopt a highway.
[clutches my wife’s hand]
We couldn’t make a highway of our own, you see.