Medication for depression “may cause thoughts of suicide”. If this were so for all meds then:

Diet Pills..may cause ravenous hunger

You Might Also Like


I will give Canada this. Their geese are hard to keep in a headlock.


[After reading vows]
Me: Why are you upset?
Me: Was it the Donald-
Her: Yes, it was the Donald Duck voice.


Superman’s first day at the daily planet.

Boss: Since you’re new, you might need supervision.

Clark: I have that, superhearing too.


[meeting girlfriend’s parents]
me: I’m a big fan of your work


The elevators aren’t working and I work on the 10th floor.

I just may become the first person ever to call in sick from the security desk.


[boarding a plane]

me: I’m nervous

steward: oh why?

me: *leans in for kiss*


SCIENTIST: Let’s name this spider Long Legs, for its long legs

SCIENTIST 2: Hmm not kinky enough


*lays in bed*
“Did I leave the oven on? When’s the last time I even baked anything? Like 6 months? I should probably still check to be sure”