@mattgallo123: Meditation is fun when you want to do nothing for an hour but still feel a sense of accomplishment.
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@LurkAtHomeMom: 3yo: Do you want to play princesses with me? Me: Of course! 3yo: Ok, I’ll be Ariel. Who do you want to be? Me: Sleeping Beauty. 3yo: How come you always pick her? Me: 3yo: Me: *already asleep on the couch*
@david8hughes: Army boss: ENEMIES INCOMING AT 12 O'CLOCK Me: stop shouting, that's over an hour from now
@o__0Dev: If you can say "I made six figures last year," you either have a well paying job or you're the worst employee at a toy factory.
@jwoodham: Never look down on anyone. Unless you're a lion cub named Simba and you're being held over a crowd of animals by a weird monkey doctor.