I really hope my 2 year old daughter is this difficult to get into bed when she’s 18
ME: I think the router has reset now
GF: Oh thank God
You Might Also Like
*goes to the gym*
*takes a selfie & posts it on Facebook for the wife to see*
*hurries to the bar*
Mom texted that she’s enjoying a no tech day, and I think it may be time to explain some things to her.
My GPS just told me to turn left into a cornfield and now I’m afraid it wants to murder me.
me: I ran 5 miles yesterday and my calves are killing me
her: you’re just being dramatic
me: *being stabbed by baby cows* yeah probably
Stop telling people to cut toxic relationships out of their lives! I’m starting to run out of friends you guys.
Me: *pointing at nothing* Hey, what’s that?
My guardian angel: *looks where I am pointing*
Me: *runs into traffic*
If you can’t call your kid at 8:30 in the morning from the next bedroom to bring you a drink
What’s the point of them having a cell phone
Give me the nuclear codes. No one would expect me to have them
Therapist: You have passive aggressive issues.
Me (under my breath): says the woman who only listens to my troubles because I pay her.