Robber: KEEP YOUR HANDS UP OR I’LL SHOOT EVERY ONE OF YOU!
*Friends theme begins to play over PA*
*Everyone sweats nervously*
Me: *turns on garbage disposal*
Her: *starts talking to me*
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my last few brain cells clinging on for dear life
Desks that can easily support a few hundred lbs must have some naughty stories to tell the other desks at break time.
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me: *winks* let’s get astronaughty
me: honestly, the only reason i became an astronaut was to say that
When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up? This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.