ISSUE: is the road runner wile e coyote’s son
FOR: thhey, seem to respect each other, on some level
AGAINST: one of them is a dog
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Newborn babies implies there are oldborn babies and honestly that’s terrifying
Pretty sure Dora goes on crazy adventures with a monkey because her mom is on Twitter.
Rambo: First Blood (1982)- After the onset of his first period, Rambo struggles with the emotional roller coaster of becoming a woman.
Me: when I say WAF you say FLES, WAF—
My kids: so is breakfast almost ready or what, you’re literally killing us
Seems like Hello Kitty should be a brand of condoms.
*Goes to bathroom
*Reaches down to unzip
*Discovers pants have been unzipped for the last 4 hours
*Starts wearing underwear
My wife and I have a rule whoever is driving controls the radio, unless I’m driving and then she controls the radio.
In an unexpected motion, Texas Republicans have voted to move midnight to 1am.
waiter: do you have any questions about the menu
me: yes what’s the name of this font used for the meats