@dubstep4dads: met this girl online and we've been talking for a few weeks... what yall think? 😏😏
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@soulindivision: "I have to go eat cake now", should be a perfectly valid reason for leaving a social occasion where cake has not been provided.
@hansabumsadaisy: #RubbishJokes My girlfriend told my that she wanted peace and quiet whilst cooking. So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
@stephenjmolloy: Wife: I'm seeing someone behind your back. Me: *frightened* Are... are they there now?