@robdelaney: Michael Jackson would be 54 today if he hadn't hired such a gifted nap specialist.
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@heyitsJudeD: All those years of karate training wasted ... I've never once had to paint a fence or wax a car ....
@BigJDubz: Me: *pssst* tell the girl wearing the white dress I think she's hot Priest: absolutely not
@Sandrahadenough: I spent 20 minutes at the gym trying to untangle my headphones...I'm done..my arms are killing me!
@tarashoe: ohgod what if there's some murderer in the backseat of my car while i'm driving alone and they hear me singing this cranberries song off-key