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Called Comcast to see about dropping my service and long story short, If anyone wants to watch Showtime, call me on one of my 36 landlines.
me: “beetle rabbit”
boss: “that’s a terrible idea for a cartoon”
jim who always steals my ideas but makes them better somehow: “bugs bunny?”
Wife: Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?
Husband: Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.
Safari Guide: *whispering* Folks, it’s a rhinoceros. Just back away without any erratic movements.
Wacky Inflatable Tube Man: Uh-oh.
Misery: Hello there!
Company: I have a boyfriend…
I can’t be the only one that sees the day when
a direct message from a catfish is called carp DM.
Virtual learning silver lining: When your kids don’t leave the house all day, you can go longer without bathing them.
Her: I really want nachos!!
Me: *changes name to nachos*
Me and my mates are in a band called duvet.
We’re a cover band