@robfee: Mitt Romney announcing he’s not running for president is like Johnny Depp announcing there won’t be a sequel to Mortdecai.
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@kentgrossarth: I've been interrogating this dog for hours and he still won't tell me who's a good boy.
@gitson_shiggles: Hug your kids as often as possible. They can't break your shit when you've got them in a full body lock
@NicestHippo: "Can you explain this Gap in your work history?" Yes that's when I worked for the popular clothing retailer