4yo son said the word prototype. When I asked him what it meant, he said “People are a prototype” and I was too scared to ask what he meant.
Mom hires magician for birthday party, Voldemort #badluckbrian
You Might Also Like
BFF: You better be dying calling me at 2 AM.
Me: This is important! If Kim Possible marries Ron Stoppable and take his last name does that change her ability to do anything?
BFF: I hate you.
“Can I have a pound of onions please.”
“Sorry sir, it’s kilos these days.”
“oh, ok, can I have a pound of kilos please.”
Boss: you’re fired
Me: *slams fist on couch* you woke me up for this?
HEY JUST BECAUSE YOU HAD A KID DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STOP POSTING PICTURES OF YOUR DOG
Astronaut: *takes a picture of the moon*
Moon: delete it
I really loved the idea of moving and re-decorating until I realized one pillow is literally $25
Even a broken clock is right twice a day, unless it lives with a woman
You mix your whiskey with Coke, I mix mine with poor life choices.
Me: I think our son is feeling ostrichsized
Wife: Don’t you mean ostracized?
*son enters, feathered, elongated neck and legs*