@SouthrnPinUpMom: Moms get super human strength when put in life or death situations. Last night I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth during a tantrum...
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BoomBoomBetty: [raises arms to stretch, a cardinal swoops in and lays an egg] I guess it’s time to shave for summer.
@TheBoydP: Judge: Your charge is burning down your neighbors house Me: Your Honor they hung baskets of plastic flowers on their porch! J: Not Guilty!
@electroskippy: [installing program] Operation Status: 1 min left Me: Yes! Finally! *30 minutes later* Operation Status: 60 mins left Me: Wait. What?
@Dawn_M_: I only use shampoo that smells like raspberries so people don't think it's weird when I have jam in my hair.