@WheelTod: Money was so tight last Xmas I had to sell a kidney for gifts. And this year it's getting so bad, I may even have to sell one of my own.
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@Parkerlawyer: So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today.
@daddydoubts: Being a parent isn’t just a job it’s a way of life. Like coal mining, or deep sea fishing, or ice road trucking....really any job that’s actively trying to kill you.
@maxlavergne: TIP: if ur worried about the airworthiness of the plane you're on offer it a chip. If it eats it you're on a seagull. Disembark immediately