@21stcenturysahm: I want to go back in time and find pre-kid me who thinks she is "so busy" and "so tired." And I want to smack her.

@TomDaddario: My wife's favorite position was cat style. She'd sit 3 feet away from me. No matter how many times I called her, she wouldn't come near me

@daemonic3: MOB BOSS: It has come to my attention that within this very room, we have a SNITCH HARRY POTTER: Oh hell yeah I'll get it

@Storminika: I like to take candy from a kid cause sugar is bad for them. Then, I eat it in front of them while saying, "don't do this"

@psybermonkey: When my Uncle died the obituary said that he 'passed away in the warmth of his own home.' It was a house fire.