Morpheus: You’re The One Neo
Neo: You’re sure?
M: I’ve known for some time
N: *leans in for the kiss*
M: WHOA, that’s not what I meant bro..

You Might Also Like


No, YOUUU had a kid just so you could have someone to eat pizza and play video games with


Anyone ever notice how the word “opinion” looks like “onion”, and how if you cut into either, people start crying?


*Hello this is your pilot speaking, we still have about 9 hours in the air so let me entertain you folks reading you some of my tweets*


My jeans aren’t too small, they’re my compression pants.


PHILOSOPHY MAJOR: humanity is at risk
STEM MAJOR: because global warming is affecting sea levels
ENGLISH MAJOR: is it affecting or effecting


[on date]

Ok, don’t let her know ur a vampire.

Her: I think I’ll have a steak.

[turns into bat and flies away]


Once my son was shooting nerfguns @ the clock &when I asked why said “bc time killed the dinosaurs.” My kids are never leaving home are they


One day I hope to be doing so well that people accuse me of being a clone


Me: *about to get kidnapped* What kind of puppy?