@TrainedHedonist: Movie idea: Channing Tatum and Chris Hemsworth are called on by the US government to take their shirts off and punch people who read books.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SwedishCanary: When birds poop on my car, I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my front porch just so they know what I'm capable of.
@jergarl: After 10 years of marriage I've composed a check list of good reasons to get married. 1) Your family is being held hostage. 2) 3)
@MarfSalvador: me: where have you been? it's 5am! wife: I'm having an affair me: omg who is he? [excited] tell me eeeeverything!
@KylePlantEmoji: Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep And if I die before I wake Good