@JohnLyonTweets: Movie idea: Family moves into haunted house; ghosts appear; family too busy staring at phones to notice; ghosts leave in disgust.
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@SamePageDifDay: Soo... I guess when he asked for my number he didn't mean how many lovers I've had?
@thatdutchperson: Hi, welcome to dating. These are your two options: 1. Stay together forever 2. Break up No pressure.
@colonel_trilL: Soldier Dying on Omaha Beach. "dont forget to tell my wife i love her... and...and...honor me every year with a .....mattress sale."