Mum: “OMG clean your room! This is MADNESS!”
Me: “Madness?! NO… THIS IS SPARTA!!”
*Kicks Mum*..

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I’m 14 shows into the 1st season of ‘Lost’ & there are SO many mysteries.
I sure hope someone finds out where Sawyer plugs in his flat iron


yeah well i hope you go to put your hair in a ponytail but the hair tie is too loose to hold it & not big enough to tie it another time


The most realistic part of Harry Potter is how he goes to a school where he learns skills he can’t use in the real world.


Life advice: If someone ever tells you “I’ll be there in thirty minutes”, you should ALWAYS respond with “You’ve got twenty” and hang up.


By age 35, you should have figured out how to spell “bananas” without having to mentally sing Hollaback Girl


House arrest? Your Honor, if anyone is going to be punished here it should be me. My house has done nothing wrong.


Doctor: I need to draw some blood

Me *hands him a red crayon* haha

Doctor *stabs it in my arm* haha


If I were Jesus I would be seriously spooked by all the buildings with giant crosses.


Doctor: “You have lost a lot of blood.”
Me: “That’s not good.”
Doctor: “It’s not. You are the worst manager this blood bank has ever seen.”