*dances with wolves
*wolf asks to be my man
*I become bae o’ wolf
Murder is legal if it happens after a morning person says “WELL WELL WELLLLLL LOOK WHO FINALLY GOT UP”
You Might Also Like
Who called them reply guys instead of first responders?
My turd eating dog just spit out something I cooked if anyone wants to come to dinner.
-Are you going to just keep spinning around in that chair?
Sorry. I didn’t think we started yet.
“You’re just not enlightened enough to understand the beauty of polyamoury!”
And you’re not enlightened enough to understand just how much people in general annoy TF out of me.
My favorite Yoga Pose is the Upward Facing Couch Potato.
If I give up my seat for you on the bus, it’s my right to stand in front of you and stare down your blouse. I think it’s in the Bible.
Strange how FB doesn’t automatically add the enemies of your enemies as your friends,
ME: ooooh can I lick the beater?
HEART SURGEON: please stop calling it that
Please stop telling me how long your baby is in inches. I need something more visually relatable. Oh, your baby was 3.5 hot dogs long? Cool.