@skedaddle74: My 18yo daughter doesn’t think I’m funny, so I’m going to show her bf that tap dancing video she did in second grade to ‘ice ice baby’
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@AbbyHasIssues: Kate Middleton is 36 and just had her third royal baby. I'm 36 and just had an almond I found in my sports bra. Guess we're both living the dream.
@maughammom: My 3yo said Cheese is her favorite place. I don't know if I should be worried that she thinks cheese is a place or sad because it's not.
@batkaren: Coworker: It'll either work or it won't. Me: Yes. Those would be the two possible outcomes.
@DaddyJew: I'm like a mouse. If u give a mouse a cookie hes gonna want some milk. If u gimme a beer im gonna want some nachos. Plus we both like cheese