Just a typical Sunday morning of going on and writing Amazon reviews for cheese graters rating them low and saying “not good toys for kids”
My 4 year old loves wrestling with the family. He’s Hulk Hogan, I’m The Rock and our 1 year old is the folding chair.
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Girls with pigtails really freak me out, i cant help wondering what they did with the rest of the pig
Spent all day doing one of my favorite things ever – not dying. Score.
Kids here’s a tip. Next Christmas leave Santa marijuana cookies and watch how happy your parents magically become the next morning
Things I dipped in Nutella this weekend:
just got vinegar in my eye so I totally get it, girls who get vinegar in their eye
Goku in church: “This Jesus guy sounds really strong. I would have loved to fight against him!”
*washing motorcycle with my shirt off
*cops show up
Cops: That guy told you to stay away from his motorcycle
We’re all 60% water, so get off your high horse “aqua” man