@FatherWithTwins: My 5yo can't remember to take off his shirt before showering but he remembered that a month ago I said we'd go to the water park on Saturday
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Buffalojilll: Me, trying to flirt with the Mormon missionary at my door: No sir, have YOU heard the Good News? IT'S THAT I'M SINGLE.
@TragicAllyHere: Please. Do not push me into the pool. The pockets of my cargo shorts are filled with packets of Kraft Mac & Cheese powder.
@: obliviously driving m y car through chernobyl , absorbing lethal anmounts of radiation while looking for cute girls