@backporchlady: My black pants had more cat hair on them after they came out of the dryer. Guess I should check the dryer for cats before I start it.
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@PinkCamoTO: I'm so glad I had a kid so instead of relaxing in the bath, I can have someone explain Minecraft to me in painful detail.
@SuperApple80: Gorilla Glue works best if you want your fingers stuck to whatever’s broken but you don’t actually want to fix it.
@thegreatnanak: She: why are you dressed up as a duck? Me: did you know people feed ducks in the park?
@DamienFahey: When a band has Z's where S's should be in their name, I'm like, "Woah, watch out! These bad boys aren't playing by society's rules."