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@tiffistrying: my body: please, eat something green
me: ugh, fine! *eats mint chip ice cream*
@PaperWash: GF: every time we fight you start interpretive dancing
*i dance beautifully for 12 minutes*
GF: I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
@GashleyMadison: Honestly, my biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.
@sarcasticmommy4: Sometimes passing by a nursing home is the only reminder I need to go buy my kids whatever they want.
@DvuslyMarvelous: Twitter is like Gilligan's Island. We have the skills to fix the boat and leave.
Instead we stay & learn how use coconuts a 1000 ways.
@pleatedjeans: Any wedding can be a fairy tale wedding if you serve porridge and release three angry bears into the reception hall