@Kcamp_95: My boyfriend broke up with because I make too many Linkin Park references, but in the end it doesn't even matter.
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@JakeAupperle: Cashier: Cute kid, how old? Mom: Thank you, 28 months & 4days. What's my total? Cashier: Your total is 756 quarters & 8 dimes. #cashierlife
@TheHyyyype: anyone who thinks chickens come out of eggs is an idiot. have you ever seen a chicken? it's like 500 times the size of an egg. jesus christ
@TheAlexP: How'd you get those bruises? *remembers tripping over a stuffed animal and destroying my blanket fort* Karate.