My boyfriend wanted a serious relationship so we stopped smiling at each other.
You Might Also Like
I’m not trying to seduce you, I’m just very bad at eating
Just saw a redhead break his arm. #GingerSnap
“Full House fans have found a 1993 episode of the show called “Be True To Your Preschool”. In it, Loughlin’s Aunt Becky stops Uncle Jesse (John Stamos) from lying to get their toddler twins into an ‘elite preschool'”
Therapists listen to anything you wanna say. The other day I was like “there is so much hair in the world and I feel like we could be doing something powerful with it but the hairdressers won’t comply” and my therapist just nodded
I maintain neutrality in any situation by remaining clueless.
Me: You want to see me rip a phone book in half?
Kid: What’s a phone book?
I went to an AA meeting, met a lot of batteries
“I’m going to use the restroom *leans over table* and I counted my onion rings, there’s six.”
Cat: Slave, I’m missing a box. I had 2 & now I have 1. I blame the dogs. Find it.
Me: but I’m at work.
Cat: find it.