@AmazingPhil: My cousins baby child keeps pointing at me and saying 'cat'
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@toriTBC: When a guy texts "your beautiful," reply with "my beautiful what?" then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again.
@BadJordon: Autocorrect just changed 'so thirsty' to 'sloth irate' and I'm slowly getting angry about it.
@IvoryGazelle: Me: it’s not you, I just don’t like talking on the phone, I’m super awkward oh god, u think I'm weird for saying that don't u 911 operator: ma'am is he still stabbing u