Not to brag but I can produce cute children. DNA and all.
My daughter had a spider in her room but she lost it, and now she wants to move. I told her to stop being dramatic and she would probably just swallow it tonight so nbd
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I haven’t ironed in 17 years, except for that emergency grilled cheese sandwich I made.
My 5-year-old found two pennies and shared one with her sister.
I grounded them both because I’m not raising any communists.
It’s so obvious that she wants me. She avoids me at all costs probably because her feelings are so strong for me.
Yeah, I’ll go with that.
*but for like, an hour*
My husband’s really not keen on this whole ‘date night’ thing that married people are supposed to do……
Perhaps next time I should go out with him?
I just want someone to make me feel like I did the first time I figured out a special move in Mortal Kombat.
Say what you will about Kylo Ren, but you have to appreciate his Han die coordination.
Angry beavers can’t get our packaging open, but go ahead and try in your weakened state lol
-cold medicine companies