Wrestling is obviously fake.
Why would two people fight
over a belt when neither of
them are wearing pants?
My debate style is more like Teddy Roosevelt. I carry a big stick in one hand, a sword in the other, and wait for you to agree.
You Might Also Like
Husband: I love everything about you.
Me: Even my toe hair?
H: What toe hair?
Me: *tears up* That’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.
I’m “my wife will just leave me behind if I loiter too long at Target” years married.
If I ever run into Captian Crunch, I’m gonna punch him in the roof of his mouth.
Welcome to anxiety club, I really hope more people show up. Maybe there was a terrible accident and everyone that was coming is now dead
A poster with a mugshot saying “Have you seen this man”
So I rang up and said No.
You have to do your bit for society .
FUN BIT OF TRIVIA…The hard-working individuals who discover and preserve ancient pastas and breads are called starchaeologists.
Just figured out what “CW” means so now I have to re-read all of Twitter.
[little old lady struggling to pick up her bag of library books off the floor]
Me: [walking by]
“It’s easier if you lift with your legs.”
[alarm clock, 6:00 a.m.]
Ok cool, I have time for breakfast and a nice shower before work
[third snooze button]
Alright, well, I have time for a coffee and a quick shower
[tenth snooze button]
What if I burned off my fingerprints and moved to south america