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@SaltyCorpse: My dog: I can't get her up.
My Other dog: Did you lick her face?
My dog: Yeah, no dice.
My other dog: Did you run to the door and back?
My dog: Yes. Sheesh.
My Cat: Get out of my way, amateurs. *hurk* *gag* *hurk* Now she's up, peasants.
@jctwritesstuff: Me: So anyway, I don't know why people think LSD is so weird. Three-legged, bright pink Griffin: I know, right? Me: I like your top hat.
@BrendanMcKeigan: Got kicked out of the grocery store. Apparently yelling "LET THE BEETS DROP!" And throwing them at the ground is not acceptable.
@ElKnuckelhombre: I had to quit jogging because I kept dropping my hotdog.
@TuSoonShakur: FORREST GUMP: hey bubba would you please tell me the name of the woods where robin hood hid out with his merry men? BUBBA: sherwood forest FORREST GUMP: FORREST GUMP: FORREST GUMP: FORREST GUMP: FORREST GUMP: FORREST GUMP: FORREST GUMP: hey bubba would you please tell me the n
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