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@ShesAllNat: My ex boyfriend was into two types of women:
2) My Best Friend
@ShutUpThatsWho: [invention of blue cheese]
"this cheese has gone off"
"but it's gone mouldy"
I SAID SELL IT!
& double the price
"are u ok?"
@PoliUncorrect: Pharmacist: need any help?
Me: Yes, I'd like whatever Oprah was on when she gave each and every audience member a car
@Cads_wallop: “Wow! What a rush” I exclaim, bending down to tie my shoelaces.
@Social_Mime: Wife - We're invited to a gender reveal party.
Me - I always knew Ralph wanted to be a woman.
W - It's for a baby
Me - Ralph is pregnant?
@JediGigi: I like Halloween because no one questions the human skulls I keep on my front porch as long as I put candles in them.