@BwanaChris

My ex : “Explain yourself”
Me : “Yourself” is used reflexively as the direct or indirect object of a verb or as the object of a preposition

You Might Also Like

@Izianikapani

“I refuse to be part of an apartheid system that reveres whiteness and segregates those of colour”

“Just do the damn laundry”

@junejuly12

Nothing scarier than a server who takes multiple orders without writing anything down.

@Fred_Delicious

Comic Sans walks into a bar. Barman says “sorry we don’t serve your type in here”

@RyDoon

Biggest fears:
4. Dancing in public
3. Spiders
2. Forgetting names
1. Dancing in public with spiders who’s names I forget

@shanethevein

Whenever I leave a fancy restaurant I tell the people coming in “I recommend the squirrel”.

@gabbybendel

you know what’s a waste of time? when you call a medical office and their message starts with, “if this is a life threatening emergency, please hang up and call 911” … if you didn’t learn that by the age of 4 then who are we to interrupt natural selection?

@QwertyJones3

“What are you doing tonight?”

Gonna smoke some Herb.

“Nice.”

-guys who work in a crematorium

@JennyJohnsonHi5

Kim Kardashian’s birthday is today AND she got engaged to Kanye West! It’s almost like it was made for TV! Wait….

@Tmoney68

I’m so lazy, I’ll only walk my fingers through your hair.