@Feenohmenal: My ex said he would die for me. All I'm saying is, it was his suggestion.
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@mommajessiec: 9yo: My best friend is going to be gone for 2 weeks on vacation. It’s going to be the worst. Me: Well, it gives us the chance to hang out. 9yo: You’re making it worse.
@Holy_Mowgli: DOCTOR: to prevent germs from spreading you should sneeze into your elbow T-REX: oh great
@TweetPotato314: [Sea World] me: how much to see the great white sharks? vendor: tickets are $25 each me: alright *looks up from wallet* how much for the just ok white sharks?