chicken: [stamps out cigarette] have you even once considered that THIS is the other side of the road?
My ex wife asked me to check on her house while she was on vacation….
Google Earth says everything is just fine.
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As an adult I’ve caused the most trouble by pressing ‘send’
Its wrong that priests have to live a life of forced celibacy . They should get married and let celibacy come upon them the usual way.
The Illuminati is the belief that the most powerful ppl on Earth are in a conspiracy to leave giant clues that they’re part of a conspiracy.
Birthday sex is just having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.
Woke up this morning with a pillow over my face, hearing someone muttering “…it would be so easy…”
A fun thing to do is comment “that ain’t the girl you were with at the bar the other night” on all my married friends Facebook family photos
First person ever: I HAVE SEVERAL HOLES IN MY FACE WHAT IS HAPPENING
[typing autopsy report after lunch] weird, seems the killer spilled some coffee and part of a sandwich inside the victim
vegan witches, happy halloween!