@_SetTheHook_: My favorite childhood memory is not having a job.
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@pizza_dragon: Hi kids I'm Keanu Reeves here to tell you that speed is never cool unless you're a professional SWAT member on a bus that's about to blow up
@fishbowel: Monkey: What is this amazing fruit Other Monkey: they’re bananas Monkey: I know I like them too but what are they called
@KylePlantEmoji: [first day as a bartender] Customer: I'll have a martini, dry Me, staring at all the liquid ingredients: I don't know how to tell you this