@Bearslietoo: My favorite part about being an adult is that my pillow fort now has a mini bar.
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@AtticusFinch79: HIM: my favorite movie is pulp fiction ME: *trying to impress him but knowing that pulp is real* pulp is the greatest lie ever told
@JohnLyonTweets: So the waiter said "The plate is hot" and I said "I'll be the judge of that, haha." Anyhoo, I met a lot of nice people at the burn center.
@jennalinds: My uterus really needs a new lining every month? Seems ungrateful. What’s wrong with the lining I got you last month. It was brand new
@juliussharpe: Parachuting is probably the best way to put your life in the hands of a backpack.