@WhaJoTalkinBout: My first subtweet was in the 3rd grade when I added extra glitter to Nathan's Valentine.
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@TheAndrewNadeau: [Traffic jam] CAR 1: Hoonk! CAR 2: Honk! CAR 3: Honk, hooonk! ME: *Holding up my goose* No pressure, Chester, whenever you’re ready.
@sonictyrant: Sloth Dad: i got some fireworks to celebrate your birthday Sloth Son: um dad my birthday is four months away Sloth Dad: okay I'm lighting them get ready to run
@Rica_Bee: Netflix: (every 45 seconds) aRe YoU StiLL wAtcHiNg ??? Netflix when you fall asleep on the couch: *somehow plays 18 episodes in a row*