@TheSharona06: My Fitbit was delivered today. It's still sitting in the mailbox because I don't want to walk all the way out there.
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@truegritrumble: ME: Distinguished fellow, have you seen a monster in this Loch? LOCHNESS MONSTER (wearing a massive fake mustache): *monster noises*
@TheCheish: Mother: can you please fix my computer Me: *leans back in chair* well... well ... well ... if it isn’t Miss ‘Get Off That Computer’ Years 1994 to 2006
@Jarhead44: I've always wanted a monkey, so I bought one at auction today. I've had him about an hour now. Anyway..... Monkey for Sale.