@FU_TangClan: My four year old sent me his first ever text from my wife’s phone and it’s such a great thing that he starts school on Monday
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@EdwindelaRenta: me: i'm really glad we met, i feel like I can completely be myself around u. u had me at hello kidnapper: pls stop talking
@TheTweetOfGod: Time is money. Money talks. So time talks. But talk is cheap. So time is cheap. But time is money. So money is cheap. Which it's not.
@LoneWolfStories: Damn you autocorrect for making me look like an idiom. Always trying to make a tool out of me.
@fa_que2: You know the meeting has gone completely downhill when someone suggests sacrificing a chicken.