You’re not allowed to make up words. It’s illexical
My fridge just screamed “OH JESUS, WHAT NOW?” at me as I opened its door.
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ME: help someone caught my wife in a big net
M: between 2 trees in our yard
M: idk what his name is just send help
If you read the bible in reverse, it’s about the world’s population killing each other until there’s only 2 people left, and then the woman pukes an apple and they both get naked.
When someone looks over my shoulder while I’m on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, “HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME.”
83% of parenting is repeating the same set of instructions over and over using a different kid’s name.
Him: Let’s grill this steak
Me: *slams table, screams at steak* WHO SOLD YOU THE DRUGS
Him: that’s not-
Me: Refusing to talk? BIG MISTEAK
She puts the hot in psychotic
TRAINER: Any questions?
STUDENT: Can the Force be with me?
TRAINER: I don’t know…CAN it?
STUDENT: Oh right…May the Force
Adding a few Barbie limbs to the dead bugs in a porchlight is a fun way to tell guests they should’ve left before dark.
You dance like nobody is watching. I eat like that.