I turn hot dog water into ice cubes for house guests I don’t like
my friend’s apartment building burned down so he’s at his parents’ and he still won’t hang out with me. HOW MANY MORE FIRES DO I NEED TO SET
You Might Also Like
[The year was 2050]
“Grandpa why are you sitting outside”
“There was a time when this was illegal you know”
I think I might have a shower.
Yes, I have a shower.
Today, I went to the bathroom without my phone… there are 107 tiles on my floor
Castro: I will not die until America is destroyed
Trump: I’m gonna be the president
Castro: well then
My boss thinks that homosexuality is a disease, so I’m calling in gay tomorrow.
Lettuce is like that friend you only hang out with in a group with other friends.
“Hang out? Who else is coming?Ham? Great. I’ll be there.”
Let’s take a moment to be thankful that ponytails don’t wag like dog tails when we’re excited.
If you pronounce coupon like qpon I hope you get eaten by a qgar
The laminator is a device that sounds a lot more dangerous to baby sheep than it actually is.