My gf & I are toying w/the idea of changing both of our last names rather than hyphenate
Easier & we can have fun with it
Mrs Velociraptor.

You Might Also Like


– Are you sure?

-defenet… difini… difine… YES IM SURE!


I hate it when you have french fries and all of the sudden people are acting like they like you


Salesman: This model corners really well

Car: *backs me into an alley and takes my lunch money*


Online dating has its good points. You can choose your own name, lie through your teeth and you can’t smell their breath.


Okay kids don’t ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger’s houses except on the day we worship the devil.


Why do I always find it necessary to announce “crap, I have the hiccups” like no one can hear the ridiculous noise my body is making?


We DID NOT walk 500 mile.
And we WOULD NOT walk 500 more.

~ The Disclaimers.


Today was amazing. I actually had meaningful conversations with my teenagers. We discussed world events, we made eye contact, we truly communicated. I felt so blessed. Like a really good parent.

Then I heard one of them ask, “Is Instagram back up yet?”


When people fall with their iPhone 6 in pocket and hear a crack sound:
“Please let it be my leg, Lord.”