@markedly: My girlfriend once made me change because I was wearing green pants with a blue shirt. "You look like the earth," she said.
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@Wine_Honey1: If you ever come home and I'm in your house naked, I'm not stalking you. I just needed to borrow your wine opener, mine broke.
@Tmoney68: [Last supper] *breaks bread* This is my body *pours wine* This is my blood *plays Montell Jordan* THIS IS HOW WE DO IT *Apostles go nuts*
@Sean_Burgundy_: There's nothing worse than when you tell someone it's a long story and they reply with "I have time."
@living_marble: Telling a woman to get back in the kitchen is a weird insult to lob on Twitter. We can still tweet from kitchens. We have wifi & data plans.