@daemonic3: My girlfriend went to the dentist for a cavity. It's odd since she spends so much time in the bathroom with her electric toothbrush.
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@3sunzzz: H: I'm going to the strip club tonight. M: okay H: That's it, okay? M: Sure, just remember who prepares your food. H: What? M: What?
@UncleDuke1969: Psychiatrist: "Tell me about your kids." Me: "Total disappointments." Psychiatrist: "I still think this is a conflict of interest, Dad."