@PeachCoffin: My grandma had a lock installed on her medicine cabinet poor thing no one's ever going to visit her again
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@CornOnTheGoblin: Test results are in, you might want to have a seat "I'd rather stand" Are you sure? You have "Falls Down When Gets Bad News" disease *Thud*
@CelebrityChez: My biggest regret is probably that time I let a guy dressed up as a hotdog give me a haircut.
@trevso_electric: That one onion ring didn't end up in your french fries by accident. That's Burger King's way of flirting with you.
@Swishergirl24: Son: how will I know when I’m a grown-up? Me: certain foods will make your stomach hurt.